For many of us, our wedding day is something we’ve imagined for a very long time. But once the planning begins, often times your vision may not align with the expectations of others. You imagined a small, destination wedding but your mom has her heart set on 200+ guests in the family church. You want a band but your fiancé thinks a DJ is better. Buffet vs Sit down dinner. Open bar vs. Cash. Formal attire vs Black Tie. It’s starts to seem like no matter what decision you make, you’re going to make someone unhappy.
But here’s the thing, the two people that matter most are you and your soon to be spouse.
And you can definitely accomplish this without being a bride- or groom-zilla!
3 WAYS TO GET THE BEST DAY FOR EVERYONE!:
EXPECTATIONS: Manage Them from the Start!
You know your family and friends best and you can probably imagine which items will be hot button issues for each. Consider the players and head the issues off before they begin. If you know your parents want a church wedding but you and your fiancé are more spiritual than religious, open the conversation with them from the start. Trust me - it’ll be much worse if you avoid the topic and they find out about the details from your invitation! Remember: This is your family. They love you and want what’s best for you. Seek a compromise so everyone’s happy and no one is blindsided.
PRIORITIZE: How Important is it really?
As you’re managing your initial ideas, plans and expectations, take some time to really dig deep on just how important each nuance of your vision is to you. Ceremony, location, budget are all big topics but maybe you don’t need to dig in on your position on ocean blue versus turquoise napkins. Try to visualize the future - when all is said and done, what do you want to remember most? The music? The food? The dancing? Recently, my husband and I planned our 10 year vow renewal in St. John USVI. As we planned, we created a ceremony on the beach, a sailboat cruise and an intimate dinner. As we planned, my husband expressed how important the cruise was to him. Out of everything, this was something he had visualized for this long awaited occasion. Knowing that, we made sure it was on the top of our list, planned for it, saved for it and booked it as early as possible.
COMMUNICATION: Keep everyone in the loop!
This one is pretty much embedded into the first two but it goes beyond the initial first chats and priority lists. Keep up the clear communication between you and your family members and you and your partner throughout the whole process. Remember, it’s not just a day you’re planning here - it’s a life. If you and your love can work as a good team through the planning stage, you’re just laying the groundwork for great team work in the future. And with the support of your family behind you, the two of you can conquer anything!
Sounds simple right? It’s easy for me to say you need to have good, clear conversations with family members but you know the players in your world. It may be easier said than done. If you need more support to direct these conversations maybe consider a wedding coach. Monica Leggett is a certified Life Coach, and can help you become an Empowered Bride. Monica’s program focuses on giving you the confidence, clarity and assertiveness you need to manage this year of planning stress free.
Check out Monica’s “7 Qualities You Need to Become an Empowered Bride”.
Monica’s Empowered Bride coaching program helps with much more than just managing the planning process. Through good communication practices, you’re building a strong foundation right from the start. She says that: “The Empowered Bride Coaching is about helping couples create a joint vision for their wedding day and beyond, to build stronger authentic relationships with each other and with family and friends, and to build the skills that will last a life time.”
You can find her online at https://www.theempoweredbride.com:
Monica is based out of Shelton, CT and has worked with clients nationwide and around the world. If you’re interested to learn more, you can reach by email at: coachmonicaleggett@gmail.com or by phone: 203.209.5462
Follow her on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TheEmpoweredBride/
All best my with no stress!
-Kathy